The Hopeful Life

The Hopeful Life, is about something hopeful with my life that would be a little different. This is very important to me and to you, too because my writing about the Hopeful Life may be more interesting… And I am kind of hoping that you would accept my opinion despite whatever feel when you read this story. I do not know if you read my previous story about my deafness or not. Check this: Living the Silent Life.

A few months ago, my husband and I went to University of California San Francisco Medical Center to discuss the options of three Cochlear Implants: Advanced Blonics, Cochlea America, and MED-EL. All three cochlear implants were very marvelous. I met my new audiologist and discussed different options of sound processors and cochlear implants. She said that all were good and they were same. But, some sound processors from three branding companies were different due to more new technologies in the sound processors.

I had hard time making a decision as to which one of these brands I should pick for my surgery. I just wanted to have small micro nearby my ear canal, which is what Advanced Bionics offered. I also preferred to hear the music and speak over the smartphone easily, but only the brand with that option was, again, A/B. I decided to opt it out. I researched Cochlea America, I found that they always welcome those who have already same brand of Cochlear Implant, to any Celebration events such as Disney World, or Walt Disneyland, Universal Studios, or attraction parks. They can offer some free stuff for the Cochlea America Accessories. Cochlear Americas have new features and epic community events. What an amazing discovery! And – I choose Cochlear America (Nucleus)… It was first invented in 1981 in Australia. The recipients of Cochlear Americas are more than 200,000. In my understanding, Cochlear Americas is the best one. Advanced Bionics is the second best. MED-EL is very new. In case you may be interested in doing the research for yourself, here is a link: the Cochlear Implants & Models Chart.

Last week, my family came with me to UCSF Medical Center to discuss my Cochlear Implant surgery preparation. I took a CT scan and checked if the cochlea in my left and right ears looked good or not. Two hours later, we came back to the head and ear clinic after lunchtime. It was perfect timing.

We were in the waiting room for a little while, but the time was pretty quick. A registered nurse came to call my name and we all went into the exam room. I was little nervous about having a cochlear implant surgery preparation. My surgeon mentioned that my both ears looked so good, he suggested that my right ear should be the first one with new cochlear implant. He advised me to try my right ear with cochlear implant because my right ear has normal cochlea, it looked so good. For my left ear, it was rough to fix this in the cochlea because I had my old cochlear implant inside when I was 9 years old. If my right ear is getting better, I will have another surgery for my left ear, but my old cochlear implant will be replaced with new one. My surgeon told me to go head and schedule the cochlear implant surgery…

In my mind,  – What if I do something wrong? What if cochlear implant is not working at all? Will I feel regretful about that? One fearful thing I have felt is that – Will I hear things again? I can hardly wait to hear the music like operas or other music. My husband loves country, and my son likes rap, which according to my husband sounds awful. I am eager to see what he means. Had I have speech therapy before? Yes, I did have speech therapy before, but that was when I was a little girl.. Will I leave Deaf Community if I have new cochlear implant? Well, I would be likely to say – No, I will not leave the Deaf Community because of my cochlear implant. The reason why I do not leave my community is that I am still who I am. I am always be belonging to the Deaf Community. Being a cochlear implantee does not mean that I am “hearing” person. It’s impossible to become a hearing person. Other people with cochlear implants assume that they are hearing people themselves, some people choose to stop signing and start to talk. Some people continue to talk by signing, nothing is wrong with that… That’s simply their personal choices and lifestyles.

Not my choice… Still, I know who I am and what I am….

I communicate by signing… That’s what I do.

I am Deaf… That’s who I am.

I enjoy socializing with both Deaf and Hearing people… That’s how I do with people.

If my Deaf friends choose to leave me and start to act like that they are not my friends and they do not respect my decisions, it’s okay to let them go. I do not care at all. I have my husband and my two boys who show their incredible supports for my personal choice because they understand what I wish and they always love me more as well as I love them. My family and my husband’s family would gladly support my decision.

To my loyal readers – I do not mind at all whether you support this decision or not. I do, however, hope that you would come back to read more stories about my cochlear implant experiences.

… Next,  Click the next story: The Blessed Life …