While facing any situations with people, I have seen many people speaking negative thoughts about the celebrities such as Josh Duggar, Bruce Jenner, and others. I do not want to see many people hurting others in their relationships even though they speak negative thoughts. To me, I have been there before. People speaking negative things about me is a huge pain, but – I let them speak, because they lost my respect for them and I walk away from them. The simple way is to find a good friend and keep a good life. So have you been there, too?
For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you. – Proverbs 23:7
Here are the 15 negative thoughts that hurt your relationships:
- “It is your fault!” – Would you like to point your finger to an innocent person with an painful sentence? No, you would not like it. Blaming people for things whether they did it or not, even out of jealousy, can really hurt. Advice: Avoid saying “It’s your fault…” – Use your head & check what’s going on before you say something.
- “I hate you, because…” – That hurts big time. Can you say, “I hate you, because….”? Maybe, it’s coming from your thought. I am sure that you would feel regretted for what you said previously to those who are innocent. Sometimes, you might feel like that you want to say something without thinking. How about taking a walk for awhile? It helps you to calm down and think what you say carefully. Advice: Take a breath & go walk for awhile. Come back to talk and solve the problem once you are calm.
- “So what’s your stupid excuse?”– A lot of immature people ask that kind of question. You may experience this when you lost your patience with a person who has good excuses from some serious situations. What if you were in a stuck traffic, would you let a person saying, “Oh, ugh! You always make a cheap excuses for that”? How about opening your mind and understanding the reason? Advice: Be patient and let a person know that you understand what happens.
- “I don’t care about you!” – You might say, “I don’t care about you! …” on purpose, but it can ruin your relationships with other people in order that you lost their respects. Maybe, it can lead to some people committing suicide. You never know what happens to the person feeling hurt. Advice: Avoid saying, “I don’t care about you!” – Show how you care about this person.
- “I really do not like your __________” – You may say that you do not like my mother, but it hurt badly. You do not have to say that to a person, because it can lead to endanger your relationship with a valuable person. How about keeping it to yourself? Advice: Be humble and show your respect and keep it yourself.
- “I won’t forgive you for what you have done!” – Many people like you may have forgiveness problem. You are not the only one, so I admit to that I have an forgiveness problem, too. I sometimes close my heart to not forgive some people because I do not trust myself to be around any unfriendly and judgement people who leaving me, betray me, or hurt me behind my back. So when you forgive other people, you would feel more strongly than you thought. How about forgiving and forgetting the past? Advice: Learn to forgive and move on.
- “You are a failure to me.” – Some people think that they are failures because they do not get done with the errands before the end of the day. Nobody’s being perfect. You can do your best what you do in each day. Advice: Try to finish what you do in each day.
- “You are too sensitive…” – So many people admit that they really hate sensitive people. You may not like a sensitive person too. But, you don’t have to judge a person how sensitive he or she is. More importantly, you need to respect his/her sensitivity. Advice: Do not judge her/his sensitivity.
- “I cannot stand you!” – Some people say that they cannot stand others because they are too tired of hearing about a failed relationship or family problem. Some people want to hear the good news. Truth be told. When you cannot stand others being negativity, how about trying to change the subjects and share the good news? Advice: Try to change some subjects in the conversation.
- “I need to get done with my errands first…” – When you say that, it means you don’t value their needs as a person. Perhaps they may really feel depressed, or worse, suicidal. They are reaching out for word of affirmation. Affirmation they are important or loved. Many children get messed up and need counseling later because their parents care more about taking care of things first than spending time with them. Advice: Try to find free time with a person.
- “I am not good enough for you…” – When people say that, they don’t respect themselves enough to achieve what they want. They just settle for what comes easy. Anything worth having will not come easy. If someone is not good enough, they should try to change that and make themselves good enough. No one wants to go to a pity party. Advice: You are good enough for anything you want to do, you just have to try….
- “Loser, you are not so worth it!!” – An old cowboy proverb says, “Never look down on someone unless your helping them on to your horse.” We are all equal. Perhaps the reason you feel aren’t worth the time or money is because of their attitude, which was developed because everyone leaves them, so they’d rather be alone so they don’t get hurt again. They are too afraid to let anyone in. Do not belittle anyone, they are worth it. Advice: Treat everyone as your equal.
- “I do not have much time for that!” – This one in the right context can be hurtful. It falls along the same lines as # 12. Thinking you are too good for something, or someone. When you hurt someone, that could have been the last straw to force them to commit suicide. Everyone is struggling with something at any given moment. We should use our time to bless someone, not hurt them. Advice: Make time for people, encourage them to use time wisely if its truly a waste of time, or is counter-productive.
- “I am too tired of you!!” – Explain the behavior that bothers you. If you tell them you are tired of them doing something, it warns them to stop the behavior, but saying you are tired of them hurts them deeply. We need to spend time trying to better our relationships, because its human NATURE TO TAKE WHAT WE HAVE FOR GRANTED. Often people do things that bother us with the best of intentions. Advice: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Explain how what they are doing makes you feel.
- “It’s okay to tell a white lie.” – It’s never okay to lie!!! Lying hurts people and destroys trust. Our ability to trust is like a soda can, it takes an instant to crush, but it takes forever to rebuild, and it will never be the same as before. Always be honest, because it shows integrity and reliability. They will value you as a person more if they know you will never lie to them. Advice: NEVER LIE, you will lose friends faster then you realize.