This month, we are celebrating domestic violence awareness month in order to give all people remembering how many victims have survived from their domestic violence experiences. Many people in the world should find some ways to stop violence in result to help the victims you care about the most and keep them alive. I have a few reasons why I am writing a post here, most of you may not know about me that much. Admittedly, I am one of the victims in my domestic violence experience. Let me tell you a short story…
In my story, I married my hot-tempered husband when I was 23 years old. I did not realize that he was an easily hot-tempered person until after I married him. I used to know him when we were in High School, I did not see anything to show me he behaved like that as we were young students. However, I guess that he did not show his anger toward anyone while we were in school.
After I was married, I found that my husband started to beat up my first son (he was not his real son) when he was 4 years old while I was away at college. I could not believe that my husband had never told me about his anger problem. I wish that I could not have married him, but I was pregnant with my husband in result of my stupidity and immature thoughts of him as a “sweet” and “innocent” man. My husband turned to be the monster in my love life. I’ve had suffered with him physically and emotionally. A few months later, my husband raped me during my third trimester of pregnancy. It was called the marital rape. The definition of “Marital Rape” is – spouse rape. I felt sooo much pain and shame.
After having a second son, I had thought long and hard about filing a divorce or even leaving my hot-tempered husband. But, I was scared of leaving him because I did not know where I could stay. I was fully insecure and I was not brave enough to leave him. My mother did see some things happening but she could not call the police because she thought calling the police might embarrass our family. My husband and I moved to a different house, he continued to yell at us emotionally and verbally, and then he punched his hands through the wall. He scared my children and me.
Two years after our marriage, my husband left me and my children because he could not handle us, he hated me so much. So, the separation was such a good idea. One day, my friend rescued me from my husband’s attempt to attack me in my friend’s car where I was supposed to go to the counseling. My friend took me to the police department and reported it quickly. My friend pushed me to tell the police to arrest my husband because she could not stand that she seen me getting beat up by him repeatedly. I was thankful that God helped my friend showing her encouragement and support where I needed. The police arrested him for beating me and breaking my right arm, I was so lucky that I did not lost my arm because I needed it to communicate by sign language.
A few weeks later, my ex-husband decided to file a divorce against me because he was angry that I put him away in the jail and he had been charged for his domestic abuse.
Finally the divorce was officially ended in October 2007. I won my full custody of my two sons. He decided to abandon his biological son with me.
Today, I have married my second husband who is a Christian pastor and he loves me and my sons, and will protect us at any cost. We have been married since December 2012. I am blessed to have him in my life. He has continued to help me and my two teenage sons.
If you have not left your spouse who hurts you continually, please call the police or you may be buried a week later.