How to Deal with a Difficult Teenager

Have you dealt with a difficult teenager with anger issues? I know that you are having a difficult time with your teen. Disciplining a teen is very challenging for parents, but what about anger? Suicide attempts? Peer pressure? Have you noticed any signs of these issues in your teen’s behavior? Let’s talk about how to deal with a difficult teenager.

… My Story …

I remembered when I worked with teenagers from Middle School and High School, they were very troubled teenagers and they ended up challenging everyone by talking back like smart-mouthing. It just happened that they were very intelligent students. One day, I was a substitute teacher in one of the classes from High School. I noticed a lot of difficult teenagers, who behaved too wild and easily show-off. Oh, yes – I remembered when I was a teenager, too. But, their behaviors were worse more than I’ve had seen in so long ago. One of the students I had dealt with was easily angry, show-off, and smart-mouthing. I gave him a detention hall note; however, he lost his temper and faced me physically. Another student called the teacher quickly for help and stopped him before hurting me. I was completely lucky to stay alive but I understood this student had so many behavior issues from his home with his parents and siblings.

A troubled teen faces behavioral, emotional, or learning problems beyond the normal teenage issues. They may repeatedly practice at-risk behaviors such as violence, skipping school, drinking, drug use, sex, self-harming, shoplifting, or other criminal acts. Or they may exhibit symptoms of mental health problems like depression, anxiety, or eating disorders. While any negative behavior repeated over and over can be a sign of underlying trouble, it’s important for parents to understand which behaviors are normal during adolescent development, and which can point to more serious problems.  – Lawrence Robinson and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Dealing with A Difficult Teenager

Adapted from Help for Parents of Troubled Teens

• Establish rules and seek consequences. Both you and your teen need to talk about setting the rules at home. You know, teens need more rules. If your teen behaves dangerously, ask for help.
• Find what’s behind the anger. Check your teen’s behavior. If your teen feels depressed or frustrated, talk with your teen to find out what’s going on.
• Be aware of the warning signs of any violent behaviors. Watch out for your teen’s angry behavior. For example, you may notice that your teen has a lot of headaches so it is obviously from  peer pressure or something to feel stressed from school or friends.
• Help your teen to find some healthy way to reduce the violent behaviors. It is okay to hit pillows or punch a punching bag in a result of relieving the anger. Otherwise, you can help your teen to find any adventures or hobbies such as sports or arts.
• Give your teen some spaces to retreat. You can send your teen to retreat in a place where it can be safe to calm down. No apology is necessary; resist any urge follow your teen because your teen really needs to cool off first.
• Controlling your anger. Yelling or arguing with your teen can be more harmful. Screaming or throwing things are not necessary. Do not lose your temper, just calm yourself down. Let your teen and yourself be separated and you need to do something to cool off.

Any serious problems your teen is experiencing, you don’t have to feel failed as a parent. Just focus on your teen’s current needs. The first step to doing this is to find a way to connect with him or her. And you take it easy on both yourself and your teen.