Today, millions of young girls and women are impregnated out of wedlock. They are not legally married, but they choose to keep the child, give up for an adoption, or abortion. In the national statistics from the CDR, the evidence shows that number of live births to unmarried women: 1,604,870. In particular, the statistics prove that most of the Hispanic women are unmarried and have child out of wedlock, they are aged between 15-44. Now, women manage their time with child out of wedlock well while going to college, work, and other plans, they know what to do with child out of wedlock.
In My Story…
In March 1995, I was 19 years old and very young college student. My former boyfriend and I were in an on again and off again relationship, which was the worst experience of my life. In the middle week of March 1995, I was very sick and I was not aware of that my health was weak. I decided to stay at home so I missed the classes from my college, I was on bedrest. A month later, I remembered that I missed my period so I knew I was pregnant.
I went to the local retail store and bought the pregnancy test. Then I went home and took the test to see the result. In the bathroom, I thought of that I wished I was not pregnant and I was not ready for that. Finally, the result was that I was officially pregnant. I panicked and I did not know how to tell my mother about my pregnancy. I knew that I was ungrateful for myself. I might betray myself and my mother as a result of my unplanned pregnancy.
I figured out that three things I had to choose: keep a child, giving up a child for an adoption, or… abortion. The decision I had faced about three choices was a nightmare. In my family tradition, we were Catholics and I knew that abortion was out of the question because it was never part of God’s plan. And two choices left I had to think was 1) keeping a child and 2) giving up for an adoption. I knew that the adoption was sometimes dangerous (my opinion). Consequently, I finally had to decide to keep a child. I felt that I deserved that giving a child a better life was so worth it. And my responsibility, as a single 19-year-old mother, was a huge challenge. A mother’s duty was not easy; however, I learned to accept the responsibility for the child.
After telling my mother about my unplanned pregnancy, my mother was slowly mad but she accepted that incident and she felt so guilty that she did not educate me well about sex safe and unplanned pregnancy. She was willing to help me through my pregnancy and I stayed living with my mother until I finished my college. How about my former boyfriend? The worst nightmare was that he left suddenly without helping me or paying me child support. That was a huge pain but God had a wonderful plan for me and my son. He showed me so many different ways to solve problems when I was with my child out of wedlock.
Today, my older son is about to be 21 years old next November. He, in fact, is Deaf and he is perfectly healthy. He is smart, he is straight A plus grade student from his high school. Now he is off to his college. And I am so proud of having him in my whole life. My memories with him were so incredibly awesome.
5 Ways To Solve Problems When You Are With Child Out of Wedlock
If you or someone you know have an unplanned pregnancy while in college (or in high school) and consider keeping a child out of wedlock, this article may be good for you or … her (or him). Five ways you (or someone you know) have to solve problems when you are with child out of wedlock:
- Taking a free single parenting class. I took a parenting class, it was fun and challenge! If you cannot find one, you can ask your child’s doctor or your local community services.
- Find a free daycare in college. I am sure that your college has offered daycare for free if you are qualified to be a college student and have low-income. Be sure to show that you have classes, they will fill out a special form for your child and yourself. If you are not a college student, you have to pay the fees per child.
- Seek family counseling with a child. Ask your doctor to refer you to the right one.
- Find a support group for single moms (or single dads) with a child. There are many support groups for single moms (or single dads) in your location. Check with the local community services or library.
- Seek local community services. You can find information from the internet and find nearby local community services. They contain child support, welfare, counseling, and other assistances.
And don’t be embarrassed, you are so lucky to have your special child no matter what happens. Be brave and stay positive with your child.
Work Cited: “Unmarried Childbearing“. CDR. 13, July 2016. Web.