Today, millions of young girls and women are impregnated out of wedlock. They are not legally married, but they choose to keep the child, give up for an adoption, or abortion. In the national statistics from the CDR, the evidence shows that number of live births to unmarried women: 1,604,870. In particular, the statistics prove that most of the Hispanic women are unmarried and have child out of wedlock, they are aged between 15-44. Now, women manage their time with child out of wedlock well while going to college, work, and other plans, they know what to do with child out of wedlock.
In My Story…
In March 1995, I was 19 years old and very young college student. My former boyfriend and I were in an on again and off again relationship, which was the worst experience of my life. In the middle week of March 1995, I was very sick and I was not aware of that my health was weak. I decided to stay at home so I missed the classes from my college, I was on bedrest. A month later, I remembered that I missed my period so I knew I was pregnant.
I went to the local retail store and bought the pregnancy test. Then I went home and took the test to see the result. In the bathroom, I thought of that I wished I was not pregnant and I was not ready for that. Finally, the result was that I was officially pregnant. I panicked and I did not know how to tell my mother about my pregnancy. I knew that I was ungrateful for myself. I might betray myself and my mother as a result of my unplanned pregnancy.
Embarrassed…
Scared…
I figured out that three things I had to choose: keep a child, giving up a child for an adoption, or… abortion. The decision I had faced about three choices was a nightmare. In my family tradition, we were Catholics and I knew that abortion was out of the question because it was never part of God’s plan. And two choices left I had to think was 1) keeping a child and 2) giving up for an adoption. I knew that the adoption was sometimes dangerous (my opinion). Consequently, I finally had to decide to keep a child. I felt that I deserved that giving a child a better life was so worth it. And my responsibility, as a single 19-year-old mother, was a huge challenge. A mother’s duty was not easy; however, I learned to accept the responsibility for the child.
After telling my mother about my unplanned pregnancy, my mother was slowly mad but she accepted that incident and she felt so guilty that she did not educate me well about sex safe and unplanned pregnancy. She was willing to help me through my pregnancy and I stayed living with my mother until I finished my college. How about my former boyfriend? The worst nightmare was that he left suddenly without helping me or paying me child support. That was a huge pain but God had a wonderful plan for me and my son. He showed me so many different ways to solve problems when I was with my child out of wedlock.
Today, my older son is about to be 21 years old next November. He, in fact, is Deaf and he is perfectly healthy. He is smart, he is straight A plus grade student from his high school. Now he is off to his college. And I am so proud of having him in my whole life. My memories with him were so incredibly awesome.
5 Ways To Solve Problems When You Are With Child Out of Wedlock
If you or someone you know have an unplanned pregnancy while in college (or in high school) and consider keeping a child out of wedlock, this article may be good for you or … her (or him). Five ways you (or someone you know) have to solve problems when you are with child out of wedlock:
- Taking a free single parenting class. I took a parenting class, it was fun and challenge! If you cannot find one, you can ask your child’s doctor or your local community services.
- Find a free daycare in college. I am sure that your college has offered daycare for free if you are qualified to be a college student and have low-income. Be sure to show that you have classes, they will fill out a special form for your child and yourself. If you are not a college student, you have to pay the fees per child.
- Seek family counseling with a child. Ask your doctor to refer you to the right one.
- Find a support group for single moms (or single dads) with a child. There are many support groups for single moms (or single dads) in your location. Check with the local community services or library.
- Seek local community services. You can find information from the internet and find nearby local community services. They contain child support, welfare, counseling, and other assistances.
And don’t be embarrassed, you are so lucky to have your special child no matter what happens. Be brave and stay positive with your child.
Work Cited: “Unmarried Childbearing“. CDR. 13, July 2016. Web.
Amazing post. It can really help those mom’s that have no choice but to raise their kids alone
This article is so good. I will share this with some friends, they need to read it.
These are all great tips! I became a Mom in my mid-30’s and can’t imagine the responsibility at such a young age. You clearly did amazing.
This was a great post, and very helpful to young people who don’t know what to do in these kinds of situations! I am a Christian, and I know I would never have an abortion, even if I wasn’t prepared to have a child. And I also couldn’t give the baby up for adoption either!
great post I was a young and unwed when I found out I was pregnant. It was something that my mother was ashamed of and offered no help. So I struggled and learned by myself there are those out there that are welling to help
I think it does not really matter if you have a kid out of wedlock these days but its a great idea to find a support group.
Life doesn’t go as planned, I think we’ve all learned that along the way. But these little challenges also turn out to be beautiful blessings and I’m glad you chose to keep the lovely baby. It’s really nice of you to have all of these tips for the young women out there who are confused and feel a bit lost.
It happens all to frequently now and I’m mad that the father often gets away with no responsibilities. But you did an amazing job and you should be proud.
I’m glad you decided to keep the baby and it’s really nice that your mother was there to support you all the way. It’s never easy to face things alone and unfortunately, some women go through it without anyone at all. I think these are very good suggestions that you have here.
Such a great post! As they say, life happens, and perhaps having a child out of wedlock is all part of the greater plan. Nevertheless, I have seen several initiatives in my community that helps single parents- especially moms that allows them to continue their studies, work, etc. I have high regard for single moms who have succeeded in life just to raise a kid.
You are a very brave and tough woman for sharing this. For sure lots of single moms will learn something about this.
There is help and support out there if you need it and look for it. You gave some excellent examples here!
You did an amazing job – raising a lovely family. I know there are those who will be so grateful for positive post. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
I think these are all wonderful tips. I know it can be hard to be a single parent. I’m not, but I know many that are. It’s tough but everyone can get through it. Most usually have lots of support from others too. 🙂
They say having a child is not a choice. It is a gift and so happy for you for accepting thos gift. How time flies that your son is now off to college. You must be real proud. Enjoy life and all the best.
Having a child out of wedlock isn’t as taboo as it once was, but this is a wonderful article none the less. My husband and I had our children before we were married.
This is a great resource for single parents. I admire women who raise their children alone. As long as they have the love and support of their families, being a single mom/dad is a wonderful journey.
This is a great article and worth to read, I need to pass this to my friends.
Great article which I’m sure many young girls will find useful. It’s so good to hear that your son’d doing well.
Now a days there are so many single moms and it is more acceptable in society than it was back then. I don’t think single moms are necessary embarrassed but instead are in more need of support. You have listed some great tips on getting the support.
I was very lucky that when I was also 19 that I got pregnant my second year in college. It was a crazy experience. I had only been with my boyfriend for a few months. I am one of those stories that people don’t believe can happen. Nine years later TODAY we celebrate our anniversary. We have three beautiful children and have lived together ever since we found out. We are still not married, but that’s by choice. I know my story is not like a lot of others. Great post!
WOW! madrespect to you for your journey and amazing willpower. These tips are brilliant and very insightful, i did not know about the free daycare for students, that’s awesome. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and guidance.
I have been where you were when I was younger. What really gets me is that the father pretty much gets away scot-free and you are left trying to raise a child on your own. It is really unbelievable how the world works in situations like this. It really disgusts me. Thank goodness for better men, like my husband,w ho helped me raise my daughter.
I’ve learn something today and thanks to your post. I will share this to my friends too specially those who are having troubles with this kind of situation.
Great post but you might want to rethink the title. Many people chose to have children with their partners but not marry.
great advice and tips! i am glad this is working for you too!
I’ve had all of my children out of wedlock. The worst thing for me is the judging from others. It really irritates me especially when it comes from people who chose to have abortions.
I admire you for being strong and brave to overcome these things and to share it with your readers. I also have friends who got pregnant at an early age but like you, they have overcome it with the help of their loved ones.
I became pregnant with my first daughter out of wedlock, and while it came with many difficulties, I am so lucky my now husband stuck with me through everything.