One woman asks if it is okay to stay married to her non-Christian husband or not? My husband and I are not the Biblical counselors. But, I believe that God has answers to that question. I know that God does not recommend the divorce just because of the spiritual conflict in the marriage. I am writing my blog post to open your heart to listen what God says to you about your non-Christian husband.
Staying Married To Your Non-Christian Husband
- Do not attempt to leave your non-Christian husband. Many wives are saved and accept Jesus Christ in their hearts, becoming new Christians. But what about their non-Christian husbands? Some wives want to leave their non-Christian husbands just because they are not saved, but I disagree with that idea. That’s inappropriate behavior. In the Bible, Paul encourages Christians avoiding the divorce. “If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him” (1 Cor. 7:12-13).
- Do not attempt to change your non-Christian husband. Some Christian wives attempt to change their non-Christian husbands on purpose. It’s unacceptable. If you do try this with your non-Christian husband, your marriage can and will be more obstacles and chaos. God wants you to listen what He says to you through your heart. He can change your husband in His hands, but it is not your place to change because God’s job is to do this. You must stay humble yourself to God. In the Bible, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time” (1 Peter 5:6).
- Be patient and submit to your non-Christian husband. Some Christian wives have “patience” problems with their husbands; I admit that I do have the same, too. If you are having some “patience” problem, then God encourages you to let Him help you going through tough times. In the Bible, “but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses,” (2 Corinthians 6:4). God is motivating you to read His Word daily; it helps you to stay patient and depend on Him every day. You, as a Christian wife, need to submit to your non-Christian husband because you are married to him in God’s eyes. In the Bible, “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Eph. 5:22).
- Accept the authority and show your love for your non-Christian husband. One of my friends from Women’s Ministry said that she had to act humbly and show her love for her non-Christian husband; she also said that it was very hard for her because she continues to pray hard and she tries to share her faith since her husband is rebellious person. But he is not a violent person. She described that he was very simple and stubborn husband. If your husband refuses to believe in Jesus, then you have to continue to be humble under your husband’s authority and show your love for him. Your humbly action without complaining can possibly win your husband’s heart. In the Bible, “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives” (1 Peter 3:1-2).
- Trust God no matter what. I understand that some Christian wives do not trust their non-Christian husbands for some reasons. Long years ago, I had some “insecurity” issue with my first marriage. God helped me going through tough times. You might not trust God about your non-Christian husband, just because you think that God does not change your husband’s heart yet. That’s not right. God never stop working on your husband’s heart, He knows that you love your husband. You have to trust God since He still is here with you and He patiently works on your husband’s heart. In the Bible, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5).
What If Your Non-Christian Husband Is Violent or Abusive Man?
Well, I must tell you a little story about my first marriage. I was in a bad marriage with my abusive husband for at least two years plus we got separated within five years. But… I refused to file a divorce because I had to obey God and hold my marriage vow. Believe it or not, my former husband divorced me. And I did not ask for a divorce.
If your husband is not a Christian and continues to hurt you, then I’d encourage you to leave and stay with your parents until you both agree to go to the biblical counseling together or it will be your funeral. If your non-Christan husband has not changed yet, then ask the Pastor of your home church for help.
Remember, we are not licensed as the Biblical counselors.
My husband and I have lots of Christian books, and we are still dealing with our marriage. We both work out our marriage problem, even though God is with us. We both share the love language and exchange our respects for each other in God’s way.
Let me give you some books that you may want to read.