Most of you may wonder what the D-word is, anyway there’s a very simple word. It seems too terrible to mention that here, it is part of that deep emotion mostly of resentment, fear, hurtful, bitterness or anger. Truthfully, God hates the D-word. I am very concerned about this word … DIVORCE. See what I mean?
Wait… I am not divorced today. So long ago, I was once divorced from my first ex-husband because he walked out on me and he made a personal choice for himself. My current husband was once divorced from his first ex-wife too because she is currently lesbian. God allowed this to happen to us since He had reasons. BUT – the D-word is not part of God’s plan.
I was first married to my first husband, and we were Christians. We usually attended the church which was considered to be our “home” church. I love to read God’s word and listen what my former preacher at that local church lectured with God’s amazing word.
During two years of my marriage, I was completely blind, and I did not realize that my husband was hysterically silent. Also, he hurt my sons physically and emotionally when they were small children. So he quickly decided to walk off by telling me that he did not love my sons and me anymore. He wanted his freedom for himself, did it sound that he was too harsh? Well, I thought so because God hates to see anyone being overly harsh and disgraceful. In 2006 of October, the judge awarded me to have full custody of my children physically and financially, so I was partly blessed to take care of them on my own. Unfortunately, my former husband stopped paying child support because he wanted to. I knew that it was very disappointing to see that as he did not want to be responsible for my children anymore. I felt that I failed God’s commands since I thought that I had to broke my marriage vow. Sadly, the divorce was finalized, and my former husband became free. On the other hand, I disagreed with that idea since I never believe in divorce because the bible says so.
… I kept telling God to forgive me for letting this happened. He forgave me always. But, God changed my paths differently, and He helped me going through hard times with my children while I was a single mother for 7 years. While God changed my life, I realized that He did not want me to stay married to my first ex-husband as he was unfaithful to himself and to me. He cheated on me while married. So let it be.
God hates divorce because the bible says so. It is not part of God’s plan. It is the flesh’s plan desirefully.
MY CURRENT HUSBAND’S STORY
My current husband does not believe in divorce. However, he had to make that choice because he was not going to part a sinful open marriage like his ex-wife wanted. The way my husband explains it is that she was a Christian, raised in a private Christian school, as was he. They got married in 2007, and in 2008, she went to France for three months, and came back different. They went to church and she felt judged, like she didn’t belong there. Her childhood friend had just come out as a lesbian, and that got her thinking how close they were as kids. She told my husband her feelings, and being the faithful man he is, tried to make it work, hoping it was just a phase people go through. They lived in the “lavender district” in Midtown Sacramento, an area notorious for LGBT activism and the HQ was a few blocks away, plus two of the neighbors were flamboyantly gay. My husband felt very uncomfortable, but wanted his former wife to be happy. My husband is a Texan at heart. He loves anything Western or country related. You can imagine the uneasiness he felt. He still to this day frowns on homosexuality, because he believes in the BIBLE’s teachings. However, they lived there for two years and then moved in with his mother in law in Carmichael, the town he was raised in. He felt so relieved to be out of that sinful area.
Shortly after moving in with his mother-in-law, they were attending the local community college where his ex would meet her next lover. She would go to her house often claiming she was just a friend.
My husband didn’t believe it though. His gut was telling him otherwise, but he needed proof before he said anything. She had left the apartment to figure herself out, and then she came back on the condition they could have an open marriage. My husband’s heart was breaking as she showed affection towards other girls the way she should have been to him. Finally, on New Years Eve, she decided she was a lesbian. His heart broke and he cried all night long. The next day, he packed his things and moved back to his mom’s house until he could get back on his feet. It would be two years until we met. He filed for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and handled the whole thing himself. It was finalized in August 2010. My husband hated having to do that, but the Bible is clear on sexual immorality.
Truthfully, God never makes a plan for the D-word.
Frankly, we usually forgave our former spouses some while ago in our hearts. God does not want us both to get in His way because He is now working on this situation. He wants us to be rest, stay humble, and be peace.
If you are planning to get a divorced or you are divorced, I’d encourage you to seek God’s will and talk to Him in your heart through your prayer. God can change YOU, not your spouse. Remember, God does not like the D-word but you have to trust God, and He is never finished with this.
- 6 Bible Verses To Rebuild Your Marriage by His Unmeasured Grace
- Do You Struggle In Your Marriage by His Unmeasured Grace
- 5 Ways To Forgive And Let Go Of That Past by Unshakeable Joy