I am very aware that some readers may not like this topic, but I am doing this because I feel this may benefit some of you. Growth doesn’t happen without becoming uncomfortable. Do you know why some Christian spouses walk away? I know some spouses call it quits for a few reasons. Please be aware that I am not a licensed Christian counselor, but I have seen a lot of spouses make the choice to leave. I never understand what happened, but God knows the situations. Let’s get some points to that question – 5 reasons why a Christian spouse walks away.
In the story…
I remember when my husband and I went to Celebrate Recovery at our local church a few times, and we watched many speakers who shared their life experiences. Most of them were successful to go through tough times and overcame their sinful things with God’s help. One night, my friend asked my husband to help interpret ASL (American Sign Language) for a young man in the small group after the large group. He was willing to volunteer and helped, however, I went with my friend and her old friend to the room where some new participants in the altar for new followers. Two leaders shared some experiences about their marriage problems and drug issues. Anyway, I listened to their experiences. One leader expressed that he had a history of using meth in the past and it ruined his first marriage, his former wife took their children away and moved in with her parents. They ended up divorced because of his addiction. Later, he remarried another woman but ended up separated as a result of his addiction. Luckily, his second wife realized that she could not ignore him, so she had to help him no matter what. She took him to rehab and continued to support him emotionally and physically. Now, both are still married and continue to serve Him. They also remain faithful in God.
Let’s find some reasons why a Christian spouse walks away.
5 Reasons Why A Christian Spouse Walks Away
- In-Laws. Of course, you know why families always quarrel over some small silly things. One day, a spouse might call it quits and walk away for a while. You and your spouse may need to talk first on how to deal with the in-laws over personal discussions. God wants you both to stay in the center and focus on your marriage to make work and talk with each other together. You both should not let the In-Laws come in between you and your spouse. Simply think carefully before you act or talk, or your spouse will walk away. The chances are you both need to talk with your In-Laws about boundaries.
- Gossip. Have you heard something’s happening in your circle of friendship before? Maybe? Not sure? How about talking behind your spouse’s back? Lots of spouses talk with friends behind each other’s backs. I think that it’s an awful idea to talk behind your spouse’s back. And another thing is that your spouse finds you gossiping with friends outside of your marriage about him or her. It’s not good, however, your spouse can possibly leave since you violate some privacy personally. It’s time to stop gossip or talking behind your spouse’s back and ask for forgiveness.
- Sinful Habits. Some Christian spouses are losing faith in God and turn into some sinful things. For example, your spouse notices that you are doing some sinful things that displease God, he or she chooses to walk away from you because of what you are doing with sinful things may affect your Godly marriage. Perhaps it does not necessarily mean that he or she wants to divorce you. This may be for a while until you figure out what’s wrong. You and your spouse may have some space to give yourselves some time and think before talking. It takes 21 days to create a new habit, so you must replace the bad habit with the good, with the intention of repenting.
- Sinful Behaviors. Your Christian spouse feels that your behavior becomes worse, which can possibly impact your marriage. She or he makes a choice to leave and move in with their parents for a while. Your spouse needs some space and has to figure out how to solve this with your sinful behavior. For example, one Christian husband becomes a gambling addict and he’s obsessed with the money. His wife has to leave with their children for safety reasons. The chance is you need to think about changing your behavior and ask God to help you go through this. If you can master self-control, you can master anything, and only God can help you do that.
- Blended Children. I know what you are thinking. I do not want to say that, but it’s the fact. Once you guys are remarried and have children from your previous marriage. Your children have a difficult time to get along together in one house. Your children and other children are very different in the cause of their personalities. Adjusting the family lifestyle may take a long time and will be a tedious process to get along well. Some spouses leave with their children for various reasons. For example, one of your teenage children might bully another small child or the step-parent favors the biological child over the step-child. Blending children may not always be easy, however, you guys can figure out how to get along well as long as God helps you guys together.
So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless – Malachi 2:16b, ESV
So a lot of Christian spouses walk away for a few reasons. Again, I am not a licensed MFT (Marriage, Family, Therapist). It would be wise to find a Christian counselor or phone your local pastor to help you guys work on your marriage. No one needs to be a perfect spouse, the only perfect person is our Lord.